The Gimcrack Miscellany

There’s nothing worse than a cliché. They were obviously invented for a good reason. Sometimes you don’t feel like explaining something the old-fashioned way, such as using logic and meaningful words, so it’s easier to just use a cliché.

The problem is people use clichés much too frequently, causing them to A) lose their poignancy and B) get really annoying. Even the word cliché has become a cliché, which has caused a recursive lapse in the time-space continuum - similar to what would happen if you were to make two mirrors reflect each other. Thank goodness no one has ever tried that.

Even more annoying than clichéd words and phrases are film elements, such as plot lines, endings, actors, and characters. Today we will focus on the latter.

On a side note, the price of movie tickets has gotten really, really, ridiculously out of control. Why are we complaining about gas prices? It costs just as much to take your date to a movie as it does to buy the dang DVD. And popcorn I think is up to about 39¢ a kernel.

Focus. These are the top 5 most annoying character clichés in comedy films.

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That’s a screenshot of Digg at around 11:00 AM on 9/18/08. What is wrong with that picture? You don’t have to look very close.

8 of the top 10 stories are anti-McCain/Palin and pro Obama. Why do I still read Digg? Oh that’s right, because it’s the best thing ever created, despite all the political articles.

For the record, I would be just as annoyed if 8 of the top 10 stories were anti-Obama and pro McCain/Palin. I don’t care about politics. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

Well my cat Remy just caught and killed a bird. She’s Basement Cat because she’s all black, so what did you expect? My wife flipped out because Remy was trying to revive the dead bird so she could play with it more, and occasionally she would look up at us with white feathers all around her mouth. It was simultaneously the worst thing my wife has ever seen and the best thing I have ever seen.

So, in honor of dear, precious Remy, I’ve decided to share some really funny cat videos with you. If you only have time for two videos, make them the last two.

Mistake Cat

Not all cats are purrrrrfect. (terrible joke = /wrists)

Dramatic Cat

Another one similar to the dramatic hamster. I watched this skeptically because nothing can beat the original, but I’m going to go ahead and say this might give the original a run for it’s money.

Angry Cat

What the hell is she thinking? (has to be a female with that bitchy attitude)

Talking Cats

This one just plain brightened my day.

***WARNING*** 2 really funny videos coming up!!!!!

Printer Cat

Whoever did the sound effects for this video deserves an Oscar. It’s one of those videos that gets funnier as you watch it.

Ninja Cat

And finally this is by far the funniest cat video I’ve ever seen. I wish this was my cat.

In case you missed the Monday Night Football game last night between Philly and Dallas, I’d like to show you something.

First of all, the game was amazing, and I don’t regret how tired I am this morning due to watching the entire game.

Secondly, I hate Terrell Owens. He was the only player that didn’t go across and shake hands with the opposing team, even though he won. He stayed away from center field and gloated to the crowd by himself so the cameramen would have to choose to either film everyone else shaking hands in the middle of the field, or run over and give him all the glory (which he didn’t deserve - I would give more glory to Witten in last night’s game than Owens).

And third but definitely not least, DeSean Jackson had an amazing TD catch, but threw it away like a fool because of his over-inflated ego. I’ll let the video do the talking:

My favorite part is when Mike Tirico (I think) says “That is VERY close. It’s… well it’s a great dance, but, let’s take a peek here.” This was not a touchdown and was ruled dead at the 1-yard line. The Eagles did end up scoring on the next play, but Jackson’s stats have one less TD reception, and McNabb’s stats have one less TD pass, all because of Jackson’s ego.

Now, here’s why I label DeSean Jackson an idiot. This is not the first time this has happened. He did a possibly even dumber thing on a TD run in the 2005 U.S. Army All-American Bowl:

Clearly he’s talented. But he’s also, now, an idiot. I was so glad I wasn’t an Eagles fan when I saw that happen. Can you imagine Wayne, Harrison, Gonzo, or Clark doing that? I would be ashamed to call myself a Colts fan.

TV and football, that’s what.

There’s a new Coors Light press conference commercial tonight during the opening game of the NFL, featuring Jim Mora. Hopefully it will be as funny as his first one:

Also, if you’re like me and you read Stuff White People Like, I’ve got some news for you. The author, Christian Lander, is going to be appearing live on Conan O’Brien this Friday night.

And I bet you didn’t even know he was in a commercial, did you? Have you seen the new ads for NCAA Football ‘09? That’s Christian Lander. I recognized him the first time I saw it because of the pictures he sometimes puts himself in on his blog. Here’s the clip:

So, you have two awesome things happening on TV over the next two nights. Not to mention the defending Super Bowl champs against the Redskins starting at 7pm EST tonight. You’re welcome.

*update*

“Please nod if you like the following.”

ROFL - great commercial.