TheSixtyOne has held me in its musical grip since January and it doesn’t look to be letting go any time soon. I’ve already tried to explain to you why it’s so good. Let me see if I can put it another way in an attempt to lure you into the all-consuming fire.

You know how people are medically addicted to WoW these days? I know why. It’s because humans have an irresistible attraction to leveling up, regardless of the platform. We collect things. We get really good at golf and can describe every hole of every course in a 50 mile radius. We practice the guitar until we can play Flight of the Bumblebee at 340 beats per minute. We obsess over world records just to be able to say we hold the record.

There are a million areas of interest out there. And there are people getting better at each and every one of them as we speak.

We are all obsessive compulsive to a certain degree. The reason we’re not medically diagnosed with it is because most of us have the ability to resist it if it gets in the way of our daily lives. Barely.

Let’s look at a specific area of interest: music. I am not a bona fide music collector because my parents weren’t yuppies, but I am well on my way thanks almost entirely to thesixtyone. Music does something to me that nothing else can do. I’m not talking about performing it, I’m talking about blasting it in your car during afternoon rush hour on a Friday with your windows down, which coincidentally I’ll be doing in about 40 minutes.

There is a problem with being a music listener though. There are so many people that really really love music that it’s hard to break into the inner-culture unless you live on the fringe of society. It’s not very fun to become a “music collector” because one of two things tends to get in the way: 1) as soon as you begin to share your expertise with others a much more seasoned collector inevitably comes along and scoffs at your shallow opinions, informing you that he not only owns a vinyl copy of your favorite 10 albums, but he’s been backstage at all the concerts; or 2) you become that guy and lose most of your friends.

So, we’ve discussed the intense desire to “level up” in life. We’ve discussed how much we love music. And we’ve discussed why it’s frustrating to love music so much. I have good news for you. There is a place at the innernets where you can combine your desire to level up with discovering good new music that will be big in 6 months, all without the frustration of the music snob. That place is located here: www.thesixtyone.com

When I play WoW, the level-up aspect is very satisfying until I realize that ultimately it has no bearing on the “outside” world. I can’t share it with my wife or my friends because when you boil it down it is solely for my benefit.

When I listen to thesixtyone, on the other hand, not only is the level-up aspect insanely satisfying, but it has a positive effect on my “outside” world because it is teaching me about music and giving me songs, albums, and bands that I can take with me for the rest of my life. I’ve had long conversations with my friends who are already on the site (Dan, Adrian, Phil, Luke, Jesse, and my brother) over new artists, leveling up, getting achievements & feature unlocks, and techniques on playing the game.

With that being said, here is my list of top 5 bands that I’ve discovered so far. I would have never heard of any of these bands if it weren’t for thesixtyone.

5. The National

See their profile on thesixtyone.

Man these guys are eerie. A baritone lead singer paired with heavy piano usage and constant beats, plus semi-depressing lyrics and a sense of hopelessness, all somehow pull me into The National. I know, counter-intuitive right? Just listen to Fake Empire and be completely amazed.

Required listening:

4. Leatherbag

See their profile on thesixtyone.

Just one guy who calls himself Leatherbag (preforming with the aid of a band) has captured my heart with another lonely, half-depressed song called Caroline. It is one of my favorite songs of all time and I immediately went and learned it on the geetar - banjo licks and all.

Required listening:

The lyrics really get me. It’s a sad love song, and I just HAVE to post a sample for you below:

Standing around this northern town
Patiently I stand and wait
When I find my sweet Caroline
We’ll spread our wings and we’ll fly away

Her hair is gold and her words are silver
She’s a lily in the month of May
She’s tall as hell and like the wind she whispers
Do I love her I cannot say

WOW. I’m not one for poetry, but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever heard anything so sad and poetic.

3. Chris Merritt

See their profile on thesixtyone.

Chris Merritt has about twice as many chords in his songs as other non-superhuman artists. Just listen to Linger or The Long Road to get a feel for his frequent key change-ups. He has a song on his new album called Mafia that’s even crazier. I had to listen to it three times to understand his insane chord progressions. What’s great is the song is still amazing and you can tell that a lot of thought went into each note.

Required listening:

What a great buildup and it doesn’t disappoint.

2. Your Vegas

See their profile on thesixtyone.

I guarantee you these guys are the next Coldplay/Snow Patrol/Keane/[enter favorite UK pop band]. Their songs are all epic. All. Epic. We’ll be hearing them on the radio in a few months.

Required listening:

The last half of the song is the most epic. It might be one of the best individual songs on all of thesixtyone.

1. White Light Riot

See their profile on thesixtyone.

I ordered a poster from White Light Riot’s merch site. I don’t buy music posters. That is saying a lot. These guys simply rock my socks right off every single day (which is how often I listen to at least one of their songs). I love them so much that when I noticed their entire album was available to download for free from thesixtyone, I notified them of the blunder and they quickly remedied it. I bet someone out there hates me. But you know what? I bought the album from their site for full price, so you better do the same.

Required listening:

“Can’t you see beyond the silver screens, the backward dreams, the scripted scenes?”

Well that about does it. Honorable mention includes Band of Horses, Ugress, and RAC. Sample some songs from these bands and tell me what you think, or let me know your favorite newly discovered bands on thesixtyone. I’m working on another Top Fiver for individual songs which is pretty enjoyable but much harder to nail down.

So, maybe I’ll see you at thesixtyone? My username is brianmcculloh and my profile is located here: thesixtyone.com/brianmcculloh. You can also see where I currently stand on thesixtyone if you look at my listener badge in the side column of this page where it says “Listen To One Song Plz:”.

This is 100% funny if you play WoW, and 0% funny if you don’t. OK maybe 1%.

10 Signs You Play World of Warcraft Too Much

10. You registered for an Agro-Science class because you thought it would help your warrior tank better.

9. You get on vent every day, and it’s not because you’re cold.

8. Your son’s first word was “LF PORT TO SHATT, PAYING 5g - PST!!!”

7. You frequently joke that your headphones give you plus 24 intellect.

6. You got a speeding ticket and told your wife the cop was a spawn camper.

5. You want twin daughters so you can name them Mara and Kara.

4. Your favorite color is purple and you’re straight.

3. Your least favorite day of the whole week isn’t Monday. It’s Tuesday.

2. A guy cut you off in traffic and you glanced down at your dashboard to see what level he was.

Number 1 is R-rated, so don’t read it if you are sensitive to sexual innuendo. Too bad though, cause it’s really funny.

It’s down there ↓

1. You mount your Netherdrake more often than you mount your wife.

I’ve been reminiscing about all the video games I’ve played in my many years of gaming (going on 21 years of conscious gaming). When I think about my favorite video games, three or four immediately come to mind. But when I sit down to write about it and access my mental catalog of titles, I realize that they barely fit in a top 10 favorites list.

It’s not too often that I have 10 favorites of anything. The problem with 10 favorites is it’s like having 10 winners in a race. No one cares that there are 10 winners. We want to know who was absolutely FIRST. The others just make up the first 9 to lose.

I get annoyed when people refuse to have a favorite of something, like how American Idol is secretly your favorite reality prime time TV show but you’re too afraid to admit it. It’s a cop-out when you say you don’t have a true favorite in a category, like how Backstreet Boys is your favorite pop cross-over hip hop all male dancing group but you’re ashamed to say it for some reason.

Not proclaiming your favorite of something is usually due to one (or all) of four possible reasons:

• 1) you are too lazy to put any effort into it
• 2) your opinions are too easily swayed to hold fast to any one thing for too long
• 3) you’re embarassed
• 4) you have trouble committing

That list sounds like it applies to relationships or something. Well take all that nonsense somewhere else because this is The Gimcrack Miscellany and we don’t like talking about things that make us feel vulnerable and/or pathetic.

So why am I saying all this on a top 10 list? Because I’m not talking favorites here, I’m talking ‘most played’ - read the title again. Aha! Yyyyyyyep. I’m not breaking any of my rules because these aren’t necessarily my top 10 favorites just because I played them the most.

Upon further thought, it just so happens that this list corresponds exactly with my top 10 favorites list…

Anyway, the number of hours you log playing a game has nothing to do with whether or not it’s your favorite game. Well, I guess it has to have something to do with it, but how else do you explain the huge numbers behind Tetris, Pacman, and Freecell? Those aren’t anyone’s favorite games, trust me. 85% of wives will say at least one of them is their favorite, but we know they’re lying. Brain Ninjas wins, hands down.

Oh, and one more thing, I realize this is a top 10 list instead of a top 5 list. What’s your point? Ye Old Top Fiver™ is just a marketing tool. It’s not meant to be taken literally - it’s a brand that people trust. Just ask our LOLheads™ or Reference Burst Theory™ divisions.

Honorable Mention

I could have made this a top 101 list, but it would’ve taken me several days and multiple posts to make a list of that caliber. So, before we get to the top 10, here is a list of honorable mentions that I wish I had time to talk about:

25. Donkey Kong Country
24. Scorched Earth
23. Wii Tennis
22. Quake II
21. Unreal
20. Return to Castle Wolfenstein
19. Quake
18. Roller Coaster Tycoon
17. Mario Kart 64
16. The Sims
15. Age of Empires II
14. Galaga
13. GTA Vice City
12. Goldeneye
11. The Dig

Awww, boo hoo - your game didn’t make it into the top 10. Write your own damn blog then. ON WITH THE TOP 10!

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I may get myself in trouble with this one. I’m just gonna put it out there, if you don’t like it feel free to send it right back my way via the comments.

These are my current all-time least favorite movies, thus they have been etched into the annals of The Blacklist. And let me tell you, it’s a very dark place down there. It’s darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonless prairie night.

I’ve seen terrible movies without plots, acting, or any sort of direction. I’ve watched wretched films that annoy the living h e double pixie sticks out of me. I’ve feasted my eyes upon utterly offensive flicks that were designed to do just that: offend. But we’re talking lower than that.

Imagine the worst movie you’ve ever seen, and then take that movie and replace the dialog with Chinese, the soundtrack with the constant squeak of a rusty shopping cart wheel, the lead actress with Angelina Jolie, and the director with Satan.

Even that film would blow the following list of pure garish bilge out of the water.

Keep in mind, these are the worst five movies A) that I’ve seen, B) that I remember, and C) that I actually suffered through until the credits rolled, or until my DVD player mutilated the disc and regurgitated it directly into a local garbage incinerator for me. Gooood DVD player. Wanna go outside? Come on boy!

Now you see the world I’ve created and hopelessly trapped myself in. Prepare yourself for my Top Five Most Horrible Blacklisted Films:

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Actually, can I retract that? It’s really not appropriate to come up with any kind of favorites list when dealing with such topics as explosions, violence, war, etc.

That being said, let’s do 2 things:

• 1. Realize no one was hurt in most of these explosions
• 2. Pretend the ones that were are teh bad guyz

Hopefully if anyone’s offended they will think I live in England since I spelled ‘favorite’ with a ‘u’ in the title of this post. Realise that you must use colourful techniques like that if you want to retain your honour and manoeuvre to the top - memorise them, don’t criticise them. It’s a simple programme, there’s no arguement to that. Catalogue. Theatre. Draught. Pyjamas.

There, I think that’s a good enough defence. I hope you learnt something. Ok, cheque this out:

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