Posted under blogging, humor, photos

I fail because each day I find out about a new thing that I could’ve come up with if I wasn’t too busy wishing I could come up with new stuff. Man that’s recursive.

We all know about LOLcats. Duh. They will always be funny no matter what.

Then someone came up with FAIL and it was hysterical.

Things started getting a little wacky with the emergence of Total Looks Like.

Oh by the way LOLdogs are not funny:

So that’s a bad example. But here’s a good example: Office Graphs. It’s so simple. This is the crux of my blog post. The reason I say that I FAIL in life is because I can’t come up with this stuff. I’ve never come up with a joke either.

Think about it. You’ve heard hilarious and clever jokes your whole life. Who comes up with them? Do you know anyone who has ever told a great joke and then said “I wrote that joke.” No, they always hear it from a coworker or something.

Enough of my whining. Here are some funny Office Graphs.

What’s even more mind-blowing is the fact that all these funny blogs are part of the same network. And they’re hiring a .NET developer. Which I am. How great would it be to get paid as a web developer for the LOLcats blog? It would be almost as cool as working for Blizzard.

Posted under humor, photos

If I had 8 hours a day to sit here and come up with funny stuff to blog about I would have eventually come up with this. It may have taken years, but my LOLheads were the first step in the right direction.

You can clearly see that the author of this comic strip simply searched Google Images for pictures of Tom Cruise and Will Smith, used his intermediate Photoshop skills to piece them together, ran the images through the old “comic book” color filter, and pasted in some thought bubbles.

I realize that the author of this comic strip is also extremely witty, smart and funny, which I guess are important elements too. Nonetheless, it’s another simple idea that I wish I would’ve come up with. I hope they don’t mind that I posted it on my blog. Just in case you miss the huge watermark in the top-right corner, this was taken without permission from HolyTaco.com. I’m not recommending the site, just this funny funny comic.

Posted under movies, music, photos

I’m astounded at how much these two broads look alike. In case you don’t know who they are, Katy Perry is this girl. She is a 23 year old pop singer with the current top 40 hit entitled “I Kissed a Girl”. Zooey Deschanel is this girl. She is a 28 year old actress who was in Elf and, most recently, The Happening.

STOP! DO NOT go look up pictures of them. Stick with the images contained in the links above, because otherwise you might come across the pictures in my post and ruin the whole game. And don’t click “see all photos” on Zooey’s IMDB page. Just use the pictures on the front page for reference.

We’re going to play a little game called “Katy or Zooey?” This may seem like a pretty dumb “Perez-Hilton”-esque post, but I am just taken aback by how much they physically resemble each other. You will be too.

Here’s how to play. Study the pair of pictures and determine which one is Katy and which one is Zooey. If you are struggling, just remember the clues you know thus far:

• One’s an actress and one’s a musician
• One’s 4 1/2 years older than the other one

I don’t know how those will help you at all. The Answer key is in the comments so you don’t accidentally scroll down and see them in the post.

The first three are warm-ups to get the blood pumping to your fusiform gyrus. Difficulty level increases at number 4.

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OK, got your answers? Are you sure? I have more than likely tricked you at least once. Did I alternate who is first on each pair? Did I make them all the same order? Did I put two pictures of the same girl together? Is this really all just one person? See the comments for the real answers.

Posted under gimcrackery, humor, l33t, photos

…but sometimes cynicism equals hilarity.

Here is some partly cynical, mostly hysterical junk I found on the web over the past couple days. First we’ll start with my favorite t-shirt designs from Busted Tees (I wouldn’t waste my time on that site if I were you). If you don’t understand them all, you must not spend 8 hours a day on the interwebs like me. That is probably a good thing.

I hate when people wear t-shirts with clever pop culture references because they’re usually not funny and they become outdated and stale in like a month. So basically I found the following fresh gems in a sea of moldy cliches.

Let’s see, there are 9 of these, so how about we go least funny to most funny? That’s fun because then I get to force my opinion upon you.

I’ve seen this before but I forgot how funny that guy looks.

I need to wear this shirt because every time I try to make fun of someone I make an even dumber mistake myself.

It’s funny because the hat loosely resembles the shape of Canada. Clever.

Same reason as the previous one, except the word “beard” is slightly funnier than the word “hat”.

I can see never forgetting William Wallace, MLK Jr., or Mother Theresa. But dinosaurs didn’t really teach us any lessons and weren’t really valiant or courageous. So never forgetting them is absurdly funny!

So very true. LOL!

If you don’t get this, I’m sorry. If you do, you’re welcome. I’ll let you try to find out for yourself what hilarious new viral video this is referring to.

Gah! The Shredder!

The poor guy is completely square. And they pointed it out!

Alright, now that we’ve properly offended Mexicans, Canadians, Wyomingites, and fans of Bill O’Reilly, we’ll proceed to the REALLY funny stuff. I’m serious, the second half of this post is way more funny than the first half. Ever seen DEmotivational posters? You can see a bunch of them at despair.com which are all SFW. I got most of the following demotivationals from other NSFW sites which I won’t list here.

Here is cynicism at its finest, and most hilarious. Most of these speak for themselves and require no commentary from the peanut gallery, so I’ll spare you. There’s 12 of ‘em, ranked pretty funny to really funny.

Finally, someone so eloquently put into words why I don’t want to use Linux!

OK, these are starting to veer from the “motivational poster” motif to the “make fun of people” motif, but that’s funny too. This picture can’t be real! What’s sad is I sometimes willingly go to Broad Ripple on Friday nights and surround myself with tools just like these. Does that make me a tool?

Anyway, hilarious!

These last few are by far the funniest. We’re moving away from dumb people and into the realm of awesome people. It’s funny for the same reason Chuck Norris jokes are funny.

This was the funniest to me by far. Some poor guy tries to make a demotivational poster about harpoons: “HARPOONS - Man Them” (not sure why that’s funny, but it doesn’t matter). Little did he know he was about to spark a bitter war of ignorance amongst his fellow demotivators. The second guy comes along with a good point: “FAIL - Missiles are NOT harpoons.” That’s already a funny demotivational right there.

But wait! Here comes the third guy, obviously a navy veteran, to correct the second guy with his intellect and wit! “I know even more than the both of you” he says. “It’s a Harpoon Missile, duh.” Haha! LOL! Even funnier! But it’s not over…

Guy #4 gets the last laugh. He gloriously rips apart the third guy’s grammar. Brilliant! “Double” only has one “B”! I love it! I bet he had like 6 people proof read it to make sure it was completely correct so he wouldn’t get ripped in yet another recursively hilarious picture. I guess I could get him for not putting the “B” at the end of his sentence in quotations, but that would be the pot calling the kettle black, so I’ll abstain.

Posted under gimcrackery, news, photos

330 feet deep. Swallowed 12 homes suddenly. The pit emitted foul odors, loud noises and tremors, shaking the surrounding ground. A rush of water could be heard from its depths…

I have a fear of voids, so that’s all I wanna know.