The Gimcrack Miscellany

At least, that’s what they think. The Westboro Baptist Church is protesting across from the convention center, which is where the Southern Baptist Convention is being held this week. They’re the ones with the God Hates Fags website.

I saw them on my way to work this morning. There’s even a little kid out there holding a sign that says “Your Pastor Is A Whore”. I’m really just amazed at how they have managed to hate everyone in the world. Here is a list of people they hate: homosexuals, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Chinese, Canadians, Mexicans, Swedes, Irish, British, and Americans. Now, the WBC, which calls itself Baptist, hates Southern Baptists.

I just think the WBC is a good case study for people who are trying to grow their church and reach out to people. They’ve got it going on, in my opinion, and I think in the end it will work.

I have one more thought about these picketers. I noticed that there were about 6 protesters and about 9 police officers standing behind them, making sure no one throws a molotov cocktail directly at their eyes and faces. Do you realize how much of a waste of resources this is? There are 9 police officers, earning their well deserved $28k per year, who have been effectively incapacitated and removed from the system in order to make sure no one kills these people.

I guarantee you a crime will be committed against a person somewhere out there today that would not have happened if those extra 9 cops were on patrol.

Of course, there will also be 9 less speeding tickets given out. Maybe the WBC isn’t so bad after all…

Check out this short preview clip of a BBC documentary called The Most Hated Family In America:

“Fags eat feces. That’s a fact, hon.” REALLY? Wow.

Here’s the whole documentary:

I grow weary of people speaking of the recently departed as flawless, sinless individuals despite the life the person actually lived. There’s this fear of speaking ill of the dead that stays around for months and even years after the burial. Why is this? By “ill”, I’m not talking about slander and falsity. Usually, an honest recollection of the not-so-great things the person did is considered ill-speak as well.

I realize that God forgives and doesn’t focus on our sins after we’ve repented of them. We don’t know what’s going on outside of time and space with the departed, thus it’s possible that they’ve repented all their sins, and we surely know that God is prepared to forgive them ahead of time no matter what the atrocity.

If a human being purposefully lives life in a certain fashion, and, while alive, is known to behave a certain way and have a certain lifestyle, why do all our memories change simply because the person dies? They still lived the life they lived and acted the way they acted. Sure, it feels natural to suddenly change our opinions of the person simply because they’ve passed on, but do you ever stop and think why? Is it because we feel sorry for them because they’re dead or something?

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You can’t say “I don’t know” in Megion, a town in Russia that produces more oil than the rest of Russia combined. I’m serious, you can’t say it. Even if you really don’t know. You also can’t say any of the following phrases:

• “What can we do?”
• “It’s not my job”
• “It’s impossible”
• “I’m having lunch”
• “There is no money”
• “I was away/sick/on vacation”

I’ve deduced two reasons for imposing such a ban. Either this town is full of rich, anorexic, uber-humans who are immune to sickness, or Russia is preparing to take over the world. You clearly can’t get sick or ever leave the office for any reason. You are expected to be able to accomplish any task, since nothing is allowed to be impossible. And you surely aren’t allowed to take a lunch and eat food.

The first phrase in the list really disturbs me. I realize the phrase “What can we do?” can be said to get out of some sort of responsibility. For instance “Hey, you should change the world today” might merit the response, “That’s impossible, what can we do? We’re insignificant peons incapable of what you ask.” However, it can also be used as a way of accepting responsibility. For instance, “Hey, you should change the world today” might conversely merit the response, “That’s great! What can we do? I know, let’s start by changing ourselves.”

Too bad sucker, they banned that. Pwned.

So, I submit that it’s because of the latter of my two possible reasons that Russia has imposed this ban. They’re preparing to take over the world, similar to Stalinist Russia and Hitlerist Germany and Kim Jong-ilist North Korea, by breeding a bunch of mindless workers who can’t think for themselves and aren’t allowed to question authority.

I mean, come on - “There is no money”… seriously, you can’t say that? What if there really is no money, do you want me to pretend there is a stack of benjamins sitting on the table in front of me. Um, ok… I guess I’ll play your game if you really want me to Mr. Kuzmin, major of Megion, Russia. I just have one question for you, are you trying to take over the world? Oh, Why do I ask? No reason, it just sort of sounds like you are. You can tell me, it’s ok. Don’t be embarrased, we all want to do it, but you’re actually living the dream. Good for you, brother - or should I say comrad?

Read the article here

A man and woman were just stoned to death in Iran, according to this FoxNews.com article, and it wasn’t carried out by a few outraged villagers wielding pitchforks as I had previously envisioned it. Iran’s government confirmed that they were responsible for stoning the man as punishment for adultery. I’m dumbfounded that something like this can still happen in our world. So is the high commissioner of the U.N. as this apparently breaks an international treaty that Iran signed.

Death sentences are carried out in Iran after they are upheld by the Supreme Court. Under Iran’s Islamic law, adultery is punishable by stoning.

Jamshidi didn’t elaborate on how the stoning was carried out, but under Islamic rulings, a male convict is usually buried up to his waist while a female criminal is buried up to her neck with her hands also buried.

Those carrying out the verdict start throwing stones and rocks at the convict until he or she dies.

Not only does Islam command the killing of infidels, but apparently it approves of barbarically stoning fellow Muslims for adultery. Do you know how many people would be killed in America if we punished adulterers with the death penalty?

Her name is Mika Brzezinski and I am now a tremendous fan of hers. She even got her own hour-long news show because of her outburst. This is almost enough to make me start watching MSNBC… almost.