If I had 8 hours a day to sit here and come up with funny stuff to blog about I would have eventually come up with this. It may have taken years, but my LOLheads were the first step in the right direction.

You can clearly see that the author of this comic strip simply searched Google Images for pictures of Tom Cruise and Will Smith, used his intermediate Photoshop skills to piece them together, ran the images through the old “comic book” color filter, and pasted in some thought bubbles.

I realize that the author of this comic strip is also extremely witty, smart and funny, which I guess are important elements too. Nonetheless, it’s another simple idea that I wish I would’ve come up with. I hope they don’t mind that I posted it on my blog. Just in case you miss the huge watermark in the top-right corner, this was taken without permission from HolyTaco.com. I’m not recommending the site, just this funny funny comic.

Well, I was gonna post about how 99% of cops are complete idiots, but that is going to be a more involved post that I don’t feel like doing right now. In the meantime I stumbled upon a little gem on Digg today. So, here’s a little more light-hearted fun for you:

Step 1: Read this article and watch all the videos (the first two South Park videos are not required).

Step 2: Watch the new Pork and Beans video by Weezer.

They wouldn’t let me embed the video, so you have to go over to YouTube to see it.

I can’t believe some of these people came out of the woodwork, including Chocolate Rain Guy and Leave Britney Alone Girl. Do you think they got paid? If so, how much?

I bet these numbskulls did it for free.

I’m astounded at how much these two broads look alike. In case you don’t know who they are, Katy Perry is this girl. She is a 23 year old pop singer with the current top 40 hit entitled “I Kissed a Girl”. Zooey Deschanel is this girl. She is a 28 year old actress who was in Elf and, most recently, The Happening.

STOP! DO NOT go look up pictures of them. Stick with the images contained in the links above, because otherwise you might come across the pictures in my post and ruin the whole game. And don’t click “see all photos” on Zooey’s IMDB page. Just use the pictures on the front page for reference.

We’re going to play a little game called “Katy or Zooey?” This may seem like a pretty dumb “Perez-Hilton”-esque post, but I am just taken aback by how much they physically resemble each other. You will be too.

Here’s how to play. Study the pair of pictures and determine which one is Katy and which one is Zooey. If you are struggling, just remember the clues you know thus far:

• One’s an actress and one’s a musician
• One’s 4 1/2 years older than the other one

I don’t know how those will help you at all. The Answer key is in the comments so you don’t accidentally scroll down and see them in the post.

The first three are warm-ups to get the blood pumping to your fusiform gyrus. Difficulty level increases at number 4.

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OK, got your answers? Are you sure? I have more than likely tricked you at least once. Did I alternate who is first on each pair? Did I make them all the same order? Did I put two pictures of the same girl together? Is this really all just one person? See the comments for the real answers.

I have been inspired by the 4th of July to post about fire-related phenomena, seeing as how millions of (probably drunk) people are about to shoot dangerous bombs into the sky. Remember the movie Backdraft? Can you believe that came out 17 years ago?!? I was pretty into that movie back in the 90s and I felt like revisiting the subject today.

Backdrafts were featured in the film by the same name. We all know what a backdraft is by now. All the oxygen is consumed and there are no longer flames but everything is still so hot that any new oxygen introduced to the fire will rapidly expand and splode real big. Lets turn to the video evidence.

I thought that was pretty cool. But then I learned of flashovers, which are indeed cooler - or hotter, depending on your preferred level of literalness. What happens is, in an enclosed room (similar conditions to a backdraft) a fire gives off hot smoke which radiates heat onto all the surfaces in the room. Once all of these surfaces get to around 1000 degrees, they expel flammable gases which ignite, along with every surface in the room. All at the same time. That’s tight.

Read more about flashovers and then feast on these yummy youtubez.

The flashover in this one happens at 1:15:

This one happens right away and the rest of the video is garbage:

But wait, let’s take it one step further. What happens when a flashover occurs OUTDOORS? An eff’n firestorm. That’s right. A storm made out of: fire. Is fire even a thing to be made out of? I’m starting to get confused and overwhelmed and scared.

Firestorms are rare as a dang two-headed kid. They happen usually in nature during wildfires. But we have managed to set buildings and stuff on fire in the past that are capable of producing them too. I want you to visit teh wicky on firestorms and think about them for a minute. Here is the first sentence: “A firestorm is a conflagration which attains such intensity that it creates and sustains its own wind system.”

!!!!!!!!11!!1!1one

Here are some firestorms that resulted from fires us humans made: The Great London Fire (1666), The Great Chicago Fire (1871), The Oakland Firestorm (1991), and the one created by the atomic bomb in Heroshima.

So we have this comparison: backdrafts < flashovers < firestorms < fire whirls -WAIT wha??? Fire whirls?!?

Yes, fire whirls. They exist. And they are coming to get you. According to Wikipedia, a fire whirl is a phenomenon in which a fire acquires a vertical vorticity and forms a whirl, or a tornado-like effect of a vertically oriented rotating column of air. You may wonder how this happens. Me too, but I figured it out on my own: Lucifer.

Just listen to the following sentence and then I’m done with my tirade on fire whirls:

“An extreme example is the 1923 Great Kantō earthquake in Japan which ignited a large city-sized firestorm and produced a gigantic fire whirl that killed 38,000 in fifteen minutes in the Hifukusho-Ato region of Tokyo.”

When you go to bed tonight I want you to think of “a gigantic fire whirl that killed 38,000 in 15 minutes” and I guarantee you will have dreams about fire, featuring scenes with Kurt Russell and Donald Sutherland.

I believe that was recorded in Mordor.

Wow, that looked really windy. And fiery angered evil.

So our final tally is backdrafts < flashovers < firestorms < fire whirls < flame hurricanes - WAIT, wha?!?

I know they exist. I have seen them with my mind.