The Gimcrack Miscellany

Posted under gaming, gimcrackery

Baby Mama because I despised Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as the Weekend Update duo on SNL, and they’ll be up to all their old, tired antics again in this film.

10,000 B.C. because it looks terrible and it will dupe people into spending 10 bucks based solely on the played-out hype of Independence Day (amazing film).

Angels and Demons because even cute lil’ Naomi Watts can’t entice me to see a sequel to a horrible film.

Wolverine because even though I’ll spend my money to see this in the theaters I’m still not really looking forward to it. I figured out how to see through the hype of a franchise spin-off film when The Scorpion King came out.

The Brazillion Job because Ocean’s 12 was a complete waste of my time, and at least that was the sequel to a good film.

Sin City 2 because I’d rather them use their time and money creating a Max Payne movie.

Sin City 3 - make that two Max Payne movies*.

*I believe they already are BTW.

Jurassic Park 4 because no one else is looking forward to this movie either. Even if you think you are, you aren’t.

The Sims because even if it’s good it will have nothing to do with the game (it can’t possibly), which means it was only made to capitalize off an already existing, wildly popular franchise. That’s just not right.

Transformers 2 because upon further review I should have given Transformers 1 a higher Berating due to the fact that I watched it again in the privacy of my own home (where there were no throngs of uber-hyped college students) and was unimpressed.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li because video game movies have really bombed lately. Or always.

Tekken because this one will too - guaranteed.

And finally, one addition to my list of Movies I’m Looking Forward To:

The Legend of Zelda because they aren’t releasing any more Lord of the Rings films, and I have to get my epic fantasy fix somehow.

April fools.