The Gimcrack Miscellany

This just in! My crack team of LOLhead photographers has captured some new images of Mr. Belichick like you’ve never seen him before!

I don’t know how it’s happening, but Bill Belichick is turning into Paul Giamatti - that guy who plays the maintenance man in Lady in the Water. See for yourself:

Here he is seen just after his team blew a 79 point lead to only win by 72. Prior to the game, he promised “a win by a margin of exactly 79 points, no more, no less.” No wonder he looks so upset. And winning by 79 points should be easy for a Patriots team playing against the sorry teams in their conference this year.

Failing to rip the sleeves off his hoodie a la Hulk Hogan style as he is accustomed to doing caused Belichick to plummet into an unprecedented rage. The new hoodies are “daisy-duke sleeves” resistant, Bill - it’s for your own protection. The league is trying to battle the whole trailer trash thing, so they came out with the next line of extra-strong-sleeved hoodies. Moments after this photo was taken (by one of my best senior photographers, Jarvis McMasterson-Lightfoot, I might add) Belichick was heard mumbling to himself, “shoulda stuck with ol’ graybeard”. I’m guessing he was referring to his classic gray colored hoodie where the sleeves are nowhere to be found.

I call this photo “Source of Power”, but it’s also been referred to as “The New England Eyebrow”, “Hoodie Surprise”, “Lord of the Rings-Around-the-Neck Busted Old Hoodie-Fabric”, “I’m gonna get you sucka”, and “The Boston Tea Party of 1773″. I’m not quite sure where that last one came from, but it works. You see, this is a truly rare photo, the publishing of which has been heavily persecuted by most of the Greater New England area. It displays a sight to behold: Mr. Belichick’s true source of power. You can clearly see how The Hoodie slowly creeps up his neck as he becomes more giddy with power. It usually hides in and around his chest hair or under his gut, and usually when it ascends it his hidden by his false outer hoodie. But sometimes, when the moment is right, and he has chosen to prance around in naught but a plain polo shirt, he can no longer hide It.

Three Hoodies for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Foxborough where the Shadows lie.
One Hoodie to rule them all, One Hoodie to find them,
One Hoodie to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Foxborough where the Shadows lie.

I found another cool video that is similar to the one in this post about the distances in our universe, however this video compares the sizes of celestial bodies such as Earth, Jupiter, the Sun and more.

Previously, I thought the differences between the sizes of the stars was like the differences between the sizes of the planets in our solar system. This video really puts my wrongness in perspective.

I’m a total sucker for illustrating a point with really good quality computer animation. That’s why I love shows like Build it Bigger and Mega Movers. Don’t worry, I’ll do a LOLhead post soon.

…this would wake you up on even your absolute worst mornings. The videos get better and better… or shall I say worse and worse. If you’re going to click the play buttons below, promise me you’ll actually watch to the end. Initially I thought I had seen all these clips before, but I was wrong.

WARNING: Do not watch this unless A) you aren’t bothered by violence and destruction in any way, B) you don’t mind if your heart rate soars to 170 bpm, and C) you have a weird fascination with soccer riots and skiing accidents.

One last thing: if you want to guarantee yourself nightmares tonight, make sure your eyes are wide open 3 minutes and 50 seconds into the second video. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Part I:

Part II:

Remember my post about cats pwning humans? Well sometimes animals fight other animals too. It’s just something you’re going to have to deal with.

In this case, a bird fights a deer. And by “fights” I mean “captures in its talons”. The deer never had a chance. Watch right at the end when the eagle is sitting on the deer’s captured body and looking around. It’s like he’s saying “bring on teh liuns and elifints you n00b.”

Catching A Deer With A Bird - Watch more free videos

Moral of the story: get a golden eagle instead of a guard dog.

So, you are addicted to Digg like me? And you like music? Then The Sixty One is your final destination.

The Sixty One, in a nutshell, is a web site where artists post songs and everyone “bumps” (votes for) the songs they like. Then the songs move up the charts and can make it to the front page (just like Digg).You can listen and create playlists of your favorite songs, purchase songs DRM-free, get your own songs noticed, share songs (your own or others’) with other people, and level up.

What is “leveling up”? I’m glad you asked. You start with 100 points. It costs points to bump up a song. If songs that you bump get bumped a lot by other people, you get points. When you level up, your influence on the whole community increases. There’s a lot more to it than that, so check out the FAQ page to see how it all works.

Or you can just go listen to unlimited sweet new music for free. Make sure you listen to Hey Ya covered by Obadiah Parker and West Coast by Coconut Records.